The title of this post is what’s on my mind today. After finishing my 92 day sponsorship with Brandon, I opened my name up to get a sponsee.
The first one I got has been hard to get a hold of, hasn’t done his initial homework, and I got this message from Mark:
Nate, it doesn’t sound like he’s in a very good position to do the 90 day program. His work needs to be done FIRST thing and LAST thing EVERY day. If you allow them to do otherwise, you are hurting them, not helping them. He needs to be available to follow through on his commitment with exactness, as he agreed to, or he will need to postpone the program until he is. I made it clear that these things were not negotiable and they’re not. Addiction does not care about any of our “extenuating circumstances” and so we must be diligent, or else. Feel free to forward this to him, if need be.
Mark
I felt bad that I would need to cut him off. He then got me his first step work that morning at about 9:00 so I emailed Mark back and said, “Good news, he actually got it in before 9:00 this morning.”
Mark said the following:
That’s good to hear. I would just keep in mind the fact that sobriety is for those who want it, not just need it. Make sense? This is his responsibility and this blessing takes great desire and effort, but it is worth it. Make sure your actions communicate this to him. Thanks for your help Nate. Let me know if you need help with anything.
Mark
Unfortunately, last night he didn’t submit a journal entry, and I’m yet to hear from him today.
I sent him an email last night:
Hey,
Thanks for submitting your step work early in the day.
I just wanted to give you a heads up about the seriousness of doing your best to get the step work done at the first of your day and submitting a journal at the end of the day. I really want to help you but one of the criteria I have to follow as a sponsor is to hold my sponsees accountable. I remember when I first started the sponsorship program – I wasn’t really accustom to working a step each day, doing the work first thing in the morning, or writing in my journal consistently. Then my sponsor gave me an ultimatum that I would need to comply, or he would have to drop me and I would have to re-apply when I was ready to fully commit. This definitely woke me up and helped me realize that what I had signed up for was the real deal.
I look forward to working with you.
I need you to make sure you are ready for this commitment as well.
A couple reminders:
1. Use the word document I sent you and keep all your answers on that word document – then save it and send it to me as an attachment each day. By the end of the week, you will have all your answers in one document that we can read over together. If you have questions about this, let me know.
2. Make sure you send me a journal entry at the end of the day that summarizes how your day went.Thanks. I look forward to hearing from you.
And, I got nothing last night.
It will make it easier to “cut” him today if I don’t hear from him before 11:00 (he’s an hour before me).
I am going to go over the outline and Getting Started details now.
New Sponsee
Grant A.
- From Utah, lives in Massachusetts – getting his Electrical Engineering PHD
- He’s working on Bluetooth research
- Devices tied to the body
- Went over program details and outline
- Talked about seriousness of keeping the commitments
- Sent him information
I felt really good about our meeting. It seems he is ready for the commitment to recovery.
I’m so grateful to be part of the ARP Support group and be working on recovery one day at a time.
I’m grateful to have buried my weapons of war today.
One scripture that I want to work on memorizing and meditating on:
Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.
And this is the case!
Hasta luego!
Nate
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