In the White Book of SA, it says,
…lust is the driving force behind our sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. (p. 4)
What does progressive victory over lust mean?
I’ve had this question, and I’ve talked with others in recovery meetings who have the same question.
The word progressive means “happening or developing gradually or in stages; proceeding step by step.”
Addiction is progressive. One therapist I’ve worked with would always say, “Once is too many and a thousand times is never enough.” In fact, the White Books states that “…our sexaholism doesn’t stand still; it progressively worsens.” (p. 32)
So how do I work on “progressive victory over lust?” And why is that crucial to real recovery from addiction?
Is progressive victory over lust mandatory? Can I chip away at it over time and eventually it will just work itself out?
The White Book has this to say about how important progressive victory over lust is:
There are few absolute requirements a prospective sponsor should have, but a period of comfortable sexual sobriety, including progressive victory over lust, is surely a must. (bold & underline added for emphasis)
If I’m not working on this progressive victory, is being a sponsor putting the cart before the horse?
One person in recovery who I really respect said it this way:
Progressive victory over lust does NOT mean I lust and lust less often over time; it means I STOP and STAY STOPPED lusting and, over time, it gets easier to not lust.
An alcoholic doesn’t have progressive victory over alcohol by drinking less and less every day until, one day, he’s magically cured. Instead, he STOPS and STAYS STOPPED, and, over time, the temptation is less and less to go back to alcohol.
Practicing the Chin Up Approach
One thing I try to practice one day at a time, even moment to moment, is the chin up approach. This was shared by a facilitator back in 2007 who said he looks at everyone from the chin up. Not only does this help him look at everyone as a son or daughter of God, but it eliminates the comparison mindset, the objectification, and ultimately, the lustful thoughts.
I remember thinking, when I heard that concept: “Yeah, that’d be a great idea. But who’s he kidding. I can’t do that…”
And the truth is, I CAN’T – but GOD CAN.
As I “practice” the chin up approach: being aware of where I am, asking for His help, and surrendering my natural tendencies to want to look at other from the chin down – God is there and really does help.
This, to me, is one way to practice progressive victory over lust.
The Addiction Relationship
Remember the A => B and B => C example: A is debilitating negative emotions, which leads to B – lust, which leads to C – sexually acting out. If I can deal with the A’s in my life effectively, the B’s and C’s will lose their power over time – progressive victory.
The White Book talks about this too:
“Progressive victory over [personality] defects, not their eradication, is the power of God at work in us. What we really do battle against is not other people but our old natures, the negative force within us we can obey anytime we wish, the force that is always willing and able to wrong another.” (p. 131)
On pages 156-168 of the White Book it answers the question of what progressive victory over lust looks like. Here’s the summary:
18 Steps to Practice Progressive Victory Over Lust
- Stop practicing the compulsion. (This is the STOP and STAY STOPPED concept.)
- Stop feeding the obsession.
- Participate in the fellowship of the program.
- Admit powerlessness.
- Surrender.
- Bring the inside out.
- Trust.
- Use the literature of the program.
- Go to work on the other defects. (This is working on the A’s in addiction – the debilitating negative emotions.)
- Learn to give instead of take.
- Get an SA sponsor.
- Make friends in the program.
- Carry the message of your recovery. (Live Step 12.)
- Practice taking the actions of love.
- Recognize and feed your hunger for God.
- Cast it out.
- Take refuge in God.
- Look lust in the eye.
I look forward to everyone’s feedback, their experience, and additional questions.
I have never heard of the chin up approach, I really like that. I think that for me progressive victory over lust is to be open and talk with others and to keep surrendering. I honestly didn’t know what it was to surrender until a few months ago. Surrendering has become the best tool I have to keep going and to have victory over lust.
I agree Devin – SURRENDER is one of the key ingredients in recovery behaviors and actions. My surrender to lust looks/sounds like this:
I get to a place where I know there could be lust triggers (mall, event with lots of people, Disneyland, etc.); I say “God, I can tell already that this could be a difficult place for me. Please help me to keep my chin up and to reach out to You and others as I need help.”
Then, as I can tell situations are approaching, I may say the same thing or something similar.
I CAN’T overcome lust on my own. But God can and will help me if I turn the feelings over to Him. For me, remembering to do so, in the moment, is where the “progressive victory” really starts to come together.
Thanks for the comment Devin!
Thank you Nate and everyone for all your comments, they have really helped me.
I think this is part of the progression. To me it seems like there has been a moment when it clicks, that you desire to surrender to God and you realize how. But wouldn’t you say there is also progression that needs to happen before you have that desire? In AA the first step is to admit you have a problem, I’d say that’s a step in progression. I think the stop and staying stopped happens at step 3, but there is still progression.
I’m not faulting the ARPsupport program, I think it’s great and I’ve had my best success due to its rigorous guidelines, but what it lacks (by design and btw I think it’s good it does) is the structure to help take a person from not desiring to act out to a point where they desire it enough to actually stop and stay stopped.
Has anyone had success in helping others get to that point? Sometimes I wonder if there is much that we can do to help. How did you get to the point where you wanted to stop and stay stopped?
Thanks Grant. Great to hear from you.
I do think it’s all about progression. My worry though, for my addict mind, is that I’ll say to myself, “Sure, I’m ‘progressing,’ I have the ‘desire’ to be better, but it’s a process, it doesn’t have to happen over night.”
To me, this is minimizing and justifying the truth. To me, this is what I’ve done my entire life – lied to myself and believed it.
Stop and stay stopped is what every recovering addict ultimately has decided to do, whether it’s addiction to porn, lust, alcohol, drugs, or whatever. They had to stop cold turkey. Once they stopped and stayed stopped, then light could start coming back. Only then is where the progressive victory began.
If I keep dabbling with lust, if I keep entertaining ideas or letting my eyes wander, I’m taking my will back and that victory is put on hold.
As far as ARP Support, that program is intense. It’s one of many tools that can be used for recovery. The rigorous guidelines, for me, helped me live a new normal that I’d never experienced before. I’d always said I was “working the steps,” but honestly I was going through the motions, stuck on a step for a long time, not really knowing if I was making progress or not. And ultimately, not really working the steps at all.
For me, ARP Support is all about accountability and structure, which is what I’ve needed to get out of my own head. I’m not sure what you mean by “…what it lacks (by design and btw I think it’s good it does) is the structure to help take a person from not desiring to act out to a point where they desire it enough to actually stop and stay stopped.”
Look forward to you expounding on that.
What I’ve found about helping others is, really, I can’t help anyone. All I can do is be there to support them, share my own experience, and be someone they can reach out to. If I think I’m helping others get out of their addiction, or if that is my agenda, I don’t think recovery will last long, for them or for me.
Last point – for me, I had to stop and stay stopped or I knew my life would be over as it was: I would lose my wife, my kids and the life I was living. It was a rock bottom I had to face honestly. It was a Step 1. I had to admit that my life was unmanageable – completely – without justifying or holding anything back.
Thanks for the comments and questions. I look forward to discussing this more.
Grant, this is an answer that makes sense too in regard to the question about helping someone want to stop and stay stopped:
#18: If we are planning to stop drinking, there MUST be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. (33) – see this post for more.
Thoughts?
I’m a big fan of learning the symbolism and meaning of words and word origins, because it helps me have a clearer understanding of how I can apply the principles and tools of recovery in my life. So, I looked up lust in the dictionary, and the most relevant definition across various sources was “a very strong sexual desire [for someone/something].”
Thinking about this definition in the context of the 12 steps, I feel like there is an important distinction between attraction, which is a necessary part of our biology, and dwelling on that attraction for any longer than the time it takes to recognize it. This is not to be confused with the flawed adage of “it’s OK to look once, but not twice …” because I believe that looking once implies more of an active seeking than just the normal daily interactions we are bound to have.
So, progressive victory over lust means that, while feelings of attraction may still happen, I’m no longer allowing strong sexual desire for others (besides spouse) to take hold in my thoughts. This becomes easier and easier to do over time through surrender and mindfulness and building a positive sobriety.
An important callout in overcoming lust is recognizing the practice of objectification. Objectifying anyone or anything for selfish pleasure is a form of lust, also referred to as lasciviousness in the dictionary, which indulgence (often through porn, fantasy, etc.) trains the brain into habitual practice of lusting when attraction first hits. I find that, if I’m not vigilantly working recovery, it is often one of the first things I do whenever attraction is sparked. This objectification is now is an important trigger that alerts me to the fact that some kind of previous emotion hasn’t been worked through in a healthy way yet, and that I am at the top of a slippery slope headed towards crossing bottom lines (the B in the A = B = C equation).
Thanks JR. I agree.
The A’s are where it all starts. If I don’t recognize the negative emotions and I let them build up and continue to bury them, I too am at the top of that slipper slope and will cross bottom lines that ultimately I don’t want to cross.
For me, the chin up is one tool I’m practicing as a way to surrender the objectification to my higher power. I’ve found that eliminating certain things (Facebook for sure) has been helpful in preventing the encounters for showing up unannounced. If I decide to go to Facebook or other triggering sites, I’m basically saying, “Bring it on – today I choose to lust.” I’m basically sitting in a rowboat throwing marbles at a battleship.
I agree as well that “vigilantly working recovery” is crucial in the progressive victory over lust. The only way to coast [in recovery] is downhill. And it’s a slippery slope.
Thanks for your insights.
I guess, for me, it’s a pretty gray line between attraction and lust. I like what Cameron said: “…when from the chin up a girl is very beautiful, I want to practice ‘shoes down’…”
If I’m browsing, if I’m looking for the attractive person, if I focus on that person, even if it’s from the chin up and even if it’s just for a second, I’m opening the door.
I don’t know the best answer. I think I’m understanding what you’re saying but would like more discussion. The “looking once is ok” concept is CRAP. I can remember getting that very recommendation and now think to myself, “What were they thinking?” Ultimately, they were giving me advise based on what they knew and I can’t be mad about that.
I think numbers 64 and 65 from the post 53 Musts to Live in Real Recovery are a pretty good answer to this question. We aren’t going to hide in a hole and never see anyone or close our eyes when someone attractive walks by, but being aware and asking for help and being willing to submit to a higher power – that is the choice I want to make today.
Thanks for your reply, Nate. I think what I’m trying to convey is the reality of our biology. I’m not in any way advocating permissiveness of any kind, but rather recognition of what is supposed to be part of our lives—just like eating and drinking are autonomically generated requirements—because it isn’t something that we can run from.
From what you said here:
I completely agree, because what you’re emphasizing is intent. If I’m looking to be attracted to someone I haven’t even encountered yet, whomever that random person may be, then I’m working with pre-meditated lust. It’s an attitude, and it’s really tricky.
What I wanted to point out stems from a lot of experience listening to other men—particularly those who are still new in recovery—who shame themselves for even having the attraction spring up in the first place, as if they should be able to force their biology into submission. All that I have read and experienced tells me that just doesn’t work.
This is what I believe progressive victory means:
Hope that helps clarify.
Amen! That is really clear and I agree. What you said reminds me so much of the scripture, “the natural man is an enemy to God..and will be unless he yields to the enticings of the holy spirit, and putteth off the natural man (surrenders)…”
Our biology is what causes all of us to want to procreate – because once you’ve had kids you may think, “Why in the HELL would I want to do that again?” without those biological cravings. But they have to be controlled and bridled.
Motivations – that’s a great topic. I just bought a book, recommended by Adam Moore, called “Drive.” It’s all about what motivates us.
To me, the biological drives can be bridled more as I’m at one with myself, with others and with my Higher Power. If I’m willing to surrender in the moment, the lustful triggers lose power.
THAT, to me, is what progressive victory over lust is all about. Thanks for the ongoing discussion and clarification JR.
Yep, kids have definitely given me a sharp dose of reality about procreation. 😉
You’re most welcome, Nate.
This is a great topic. I have really struggled with lust my whole life. Even when I have had long periods of sobriety, and even when I have felt like recovery is going well in other areas, I have still struggled with lust. Very rarely have I felt any progressive victory over it. I spend a lot of time and mental energy pretty much every where I go in horizontal and vertical scanning (horizontal meaning looking around at women wherever I am; vertical scanning meaning looking women up and down). I also am constantly evaluating every woman I see physically, for better or for worse. I frequently compare my wife to them, and fantasize about “what ifs” regarding me being with them. When there are attractive women in my life who I see frequently, I start to develop mental relationships with them that are very triggering. I get anxious around them. I worry about it before and after. I have such problems almost everywhere you can think of, including work, shopping, church, temple, soccer games, carnivals, movies, driving, working out, etc. Everywhere!!! There has to be another way to live. I often wonder what “normal” men are like, or at least what “healthy” men are like. What do their minds and eyes do in the same situations I am in? How much mental energy is spent in lust? One thing I have realized over the last year or so is how much my problem with lust has been causing havoc in my life. It leads me to be on edge, bitter, impatient, cold, etc., particularly with my family. It also takes me out of reality so I am more likely to not be present with my family, not attend to them, fall through on my commitments, etc. I also am sure I’m less likely to feel the Spirit, be inspired and strengthened, etc. In short, I need a lot of help on this!!
Thanks for sharing Sam. Of the 18 Steps to Practice Progressive Victory Over Lust, which ones stick out to you most?
What negative emotions do you feel you might be burying?
I’ve realized lately that lust (the B in the equation) gets much more potent and I become much more a magnet to it if negative emotions (the A in the equation) aren’t recognized and surrendered to God, another person, and then written down.
One small negative emotion, even if it seems like “no big deal,” can start the ugly process for me. It might be as simple as my wife saying something that hurts my feelings. Then next, it could be me feeling inadequate or afraid to talk to someone, from there it might be my kids being crazy and feeling like everything is out of control. Next it could be a bad call at a soccer game or feeling like my boy isn’t trying his hardest. Finally, something silly or insignificant happens that in most cases wouldn’t trigger any response, but this time, because I’ve stuffed all those other feelings throughout the day, I blow up, I yell, I lose even more control, and the I justify why I’m the victim and why other people have wronged me.
Enter the B of the equation and then, not far behind it, the C of the equation – the drugs of choice to cope with hard things.
Recognizing and surrendering the A’s in my life is hard and I don’t have it figured out. It’s like practicing free throws though, the more I practice and create effective routines, the more I feel the progressive victories.
Hope this helps some. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences.
Wow! I love this forum. I feel it’s healthy and progressive to hear others views and experiences. We are not alone in this fight. Thanks Nate.
We ARE creatures of habit. Fact. It takes time to establish new brain pathways. Example; My wife asked me not to leave the scrub 3M pad lying in the sink when I help clean up the kitchen, because it turns sour and stinks over time. My wife’s nose seems to outperform mine any day of the week! I found myself about 20 times habitually still leaving the pad in the sink even when I had made a mental commitment not to.. But I think I’ve about conquered this minute small bad habit ! For me, it takes time.
The biggest jump for me in overcoming lust was when I realized (deeply) that lust was toxic to me and I didn’t like the dark spirit that came into my soul when I lusted. The acid test for me is, do I act the same when I’m not with my wife compared to how I act with her?
For me to progress I had to acknowledge that I had trained my brain several bad pathways of thought. The first was scanning the area for lust hits and the second was when I found a possible lust hit was to scan it vertical in order to soak it in. For me learning, or retaining my brain to stop those knee jerk reactions has been a big help.
I feel I am progressing in this fight, one small precept at a time. Where am I at in this struggle? Only God knows. It’s a very long road for sure.
President Reagan before he became President use to do TV commercials for GE. GE’s motto at the time was ” Progress Is Our Most Important Product” I’ve always like that slogan. I think my Savior might like it to.
Thanks , Ken
Thanks Ken. I’m glad you’re a part of the conversation and are willing to share what’s working for you. I really appreciated your comments in the Wednesday group about practicing the chin up approach of looking at others. I’m glad that concept is out there for everyone to practice.
It is about changing the pathways in the brain. I’ve coped for so long with these negative pathways that sometimes, if I’m not aware, they can come back unannounced and catch me completely off guard.
I look forward to getting to know you better and really am glad to have met you last week.
Thanks again Ken.
Such great points from everyone, everything said has been great for reflection for me. I also remember the facilitator who preached ‘chin up.’ Was it Greg, Nate? I’ve never forgotten it and still practice it, although, when from the chin up a girl is very beautiful, I want to practice ‘shoes down’ when I feel weak.. I have nothing to add to what has been said as I have no eloquence, but my thought is to simply recognize that for me, ‘checking out girls’ is the beginning of the end, not at all harmless, and often triggers for me not sexual thoughts of the person, but pornographic thoughts from things I’ve seen in the past. Clearly a demonstration of my mind trying to get a sexual ‘fix’. It’s not hard to see how not lusting is the start of progressive victory as Nate said, not the ultimate goal. I did once hear an alcoholic friend of mine say he was glad he wasn’t addicted to lust, because every time he saw an attractive person it would be like someone flicking beer in his face. With that thought in mind, I will surrender, and not get flicked.
Yep, Greg is his name. I actually ran into him during the Payson Temple open house. We didn’t get to talk much but he seemed to be doing well. So you were at those meetings at BYU too? I thought you’d looked familiar but I wasn’t sure where I’d seen you before.
I like the concept of the shoes down too.
“Checking out girls,” for me, is just like “browsing the internet.” If I’m actively working Step 1 and being honest, I have to realize that all I’m really looking for is the next hit – and that by no means is “progressive victory.” It is the beginning of the end.
The “flicking beer in the face” analogy is a perfect one. Thanks for sharing Cameron.
Yes, that was where I first started going to 12 step meetings way back when. Didn’t make any real progress until the 90 Day ARP program, but learned from Greg about turning to Christ and surrendering at least..
Progressive victory over lust to me is not being perfect but doing my best. If I decide to lust after pictures of women that aren’t technically pornographic but I am looking for a lust hit that is not progressive victory over lust for me. I have had to tighten up the reigns on sobriety. Before doing this (tightening the reins) I would look at YouTube videos or inappropriate pictures that were very triggering, I didn’t act out, but I did lust. All of the feelings of wanting to act out were present but I thought if I don’t act out I don’t have to reset my sobriety date. Then I read “progressive victory over lust.” That behavior to me was not progressive victory, thus, I reset my sobriety date.
Exactly. I have very stringent boundaries now that keep me away from that kind of thing. I can’t use the internet to look at news, image searches, or video searches (YouTube, etc.) unless someone else can see the screen. When I do look at news, I typically engage an image blocker. I also try to do that on YouTube. I started these boundaries about a year and a half ago and since then have done really well.
Then, about a half year ago I started a nightly check-in with my wife that involve me accounting for how well I do on these boundaries. That has helped.
More recently, in the last few weeks I’ve started to also do a mid-day call to a brother-in-recovery. That has helped as well.
In short, I think I do a pretty decent job minimizing those kinds of triggers (images, etc.). My problem that remains is the “street lust” or whatever you call it, which is people out and about. It is problematic everywhere. But, it becomes more anxiety-provoking when it is people I see a lot because then the fantasy starts more, and I have before/after anxiety.
All great comments. I just wanted to add that I believe that when we have A- negative feelings that lead to B- lust, it is because we are seeking connection. The problem is lust is a counterfeit love, a fake love, a false sense of connection. For whatever reason in our childhood or adolescence we didn’t quite learn how to truly connect or love in a healthy manner. So we learned to lust. Then, through the addiction of pornography, masturbation, sex, and so on, it has continued to cloud our mind, and emotional health. So we never truly learned to love to our full potential. Because true love is thinking of others more, and of myself less. Addiction and lust are selfish.
So in order to combat lust, I have been trying to apply what all of you have mentioned, plus connecting with someone in a healthy way, and talking about the negative emotions/feelings I was having. I am still learning how to do this, because it takes surrendering.
That’s a great point Doug. Connection is what I thought I was finding through list and porn but it’s fake and false. Thanks so much for that comment. Reaching out and connecting with God and others who are fighting the same fight is the true connection that lasts.
Talk soon.
For me progressive victory over lust is all wrapped up in my willingness to be honest with myself, God and other trusted persons. Honest about what is really going on within me, physically, spiritually and emotionally. With that honesty I must then choose to surrender my weakness and selfish desire to lust and freely give my will to God. That means total honesty with my fellows.
Because the isolated willpower approach to recovery does not work I must willingly choose to seek God’s power…His power is sufficient if I am willing to be honest.
Honesty then becomes the core value in progressive victory over lust and the basic requirement in order to progress. With true honesty with self, I can then practice the principle of surrender over and over again as I work to stay sober from acting out. As time passes my brain and body begin to find a new normal and the physical compulsion to act out subsides…bit by bit. However, the temptations continue. So must my honesty and willingness to recognize and surrender lust triggers as they occur! The physical healing of the brain and body will only occur when I choose to surrender lust and not act on it.
From a spiritual and emotional prospecting what is progressive victory over lust? As I continue in total honesty to willingly surrender my will to God and my fellows, the feelings of shame and unworthiness diminish and I begin to feel alive.
My selfish wants and desires diminish and I become more empathetic and thoughtful of others needs.
Wow! Progressive victory over lust means my selfish attitudes change to a more positive attitude about myself as well as increasing trust and love of God and others. I become willing to serve rather than take. To see life as wonderful and meaningful rather than difficult and painful.
Thus, progressive victory over lust is experiencing physical, emotional and spiritual healing. It takes all of my heart; time, work, willingness and my determined efforts to set proper boundaries to stay safe. It is a blessing that comes from God! Then I experience the release from the obsession to lust…I gain freedom. Lust no longer is at the forefront of my life. My progress is no longer damned.
I have not met anyone who says this journey is easy; lust is cunning, baffling and powerful. But I can testify that with a willing heart and total honesty, progressive victory over lust occurs. Our AA fellows have it right; Let Go and Let God.
Thanks, Steven. As always you have great insights into these issues. I think what really affected me was your statement that with progressive victory over lust, we will begin to “see life as wonderful and meaningful rather than difficult and painful.” Wouldn’t that be nice for a change? I often feel like life really sucks. I keep saying I should print t-shirts that say “Mortality Sucks!” Part of it is because I spend my days in a fantasy world obsessed with lust. At 41 years old I am a fine-tuned, well-oiled, lusting machine. I can walk into any social situation and within seconds physically size up everyone in the room. I can even quickly evaluate lust cues in my peripheral vision. It happens pretty much automatically. I feel like a robot, scanning, gathering data, analyzing the data, etc. Beep, beep beep, woop, woop, beep beep, blip blip. You have identified 5 lust objects in the vicinity. Lust object #1 has nice hair, a cute face, but is a bit overweight. Lust object #2 has an okay face but is very physically fit. Lust object #3 is superhuman and should be worshipped. Yadda yadda. This is taking up about 50% of my CPU, behind the scenes. It is draining, disconnecting, frustrating, demoralizing, and shame-inducing. It makes me discontent with this life and hopeless regarding my ability to succeed in it.
So, to me, progressive victory over lust means that I can peacefully live life, being in the present, connected to God and others. I can be more mindful of the world around me as well as the world inside of me (positives and negatives), and experience the fullness of life. I can be there for others. I can be guided by the Spirit in my family, personal life, and career. I can reach my potential. I can recover from the chains of bondage that have enslaved me for years. I can be happy.
Just a quick thought on why it has to be about ‘progressive victory over lust ‘and not porn or other forms of acting out – comes from “sitting in a rowboat..” I like how he makes mention of the muck fires, (“fires that burn underground in Florida as a result of large amounts of decomposing matter that produce chemical reactions and spontaneously combust.”) If the firemen don’t watch the muck fires, which can smolder for years, they eventually make it to the surface and start the forests back on fire. If we don’t watch the lust in whatever form – women on the streets, on tv, etc. being the biggest, we just allow the addiction to smolder and progress under our radar until the more extreme ways of acting out, be it porn, adult establishments, prostitutes, whatever our own individual extremes are, have become our norm again. This is explained much better in the book…
Amen Cameron! That’s a great analogy and reminder.
I feel like the “muck fires” start even deeper than lust for me – they start with the negative emotions that I’m tempted to bury deep and disregard. As I let those emotions fester and smolder, I seem to become a TARGET to lust. Everywhere I look, even if I don’t “want to,” there is something that triggers a feeling of lust. Women on the streets, songs on the radio, thoughts from the past, all these things become fiery darts of Satan that he uses to try to lull me back into “carnal security,” thinking all is well, until eventually he has me back in his chains.
Without progressive victory over lust, and more importantly, recognition of what I’m feeling in the moment, I’m a relapse waiting to happen. It’s not if, just when.
Thanks for the great reminder about the muck fires and how deadly they can be.
Awesome point. thanks for adding that in, I needed to hear it. It helped me recognize some fears I have felt inside that I needed to surrender. I thought it was lust, but it was fear turning me into that lust magnet you mentioned.
One comment I wanted to make is regarding the term “negative emotions.” This is mentioned in the Addiction Relationship, “Remember the A => B and B => C example: A is debilitating NEGATIVE EMOTIONS, which leads to B – lust…” I have learned recently that there are no negative emotions, for emotions are amoral. This was important in my recovery, because I tend to struggle with feeling any emotions besides happiness, which is dishonest. That being said, there are certain emotions that have a tendency to drive me into medicating, but the emotions themselves are not bad.
In defense of the author, I know it is much simpler and better understood to say “negative emotions” than to say “emotions that cause a person to want to medicate…” But I wanted to share this.