One of the talks that Becky and I have discussed a little before, or at least that she has read, is from President Eyring titled “Where is the Pavilion?” As I’ve been thinking about negative emotions & how to deal with them, this talk came back into memory, and I wanted to study it more.
Becky has shared a concept that one of her friend’s dads shared about surrender. It is that God won’t necessarily help us with our feelings of resentment and anger because those are feelings of pride, those are decision feelings.
Negative Emotions: Dealing with Resentment & Anger
I’m not sure what I feel about that idea. I do recognize that resentment and anger are not the core negative emotions – I learned this from my sponsor when I had the issue with Becky and Caleb a few weeks ago. But can God not help me, even in my feelings of resentment?
Many of us, in moments of personal anguish, feel that God is far from us. The pavilion that seems to intercept divine aid does not cover God but occasionally covers us.
Is this what the dad is trying to say: that God is still willing to help ME, but I, in my pride and anger and resentment, am not truly willing to let HIM help me?
God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are, covered by a pavilion of motivations that draw us away from God and make Him seem distant and inaccessible. Our own desires, rather than a feeling of “Thy will be done,”2 create the feeling of a pavilion blocking God. God is not unable to see us or communicate with us, but we may be unwilling to listen or submit to His will and His time.
I feel this is the answer: God is not hidden, God is not distant and inaccessible, Got is not unable to see me or communicate with me – but I may be unwilling to be completely honest with myself and unwilling to listen to or submit to His will and His time.
When I’m in a state of resentment or anger, I have usually, probably always, created a case against someone else. I’m feeling like a victim, I’m feeling justified, I’m feeling that what they did to me is why I’m angry and they should pay for their actions. It reminds me of Jonah and Nineveh. Jonah wanted the people to pay for their actions: he feared them and felt they should have consequences for their past actions. But when they repented, God forgave them. Jonah, however, was still mad and was fighting against God’s will – he still wanted them to pay.
God is close to us and aware of us and never hides from His faithful children.
How are my priorities at work?
I really like what President Eyring shares about his own desires in work:
…my desires for professional success might have created a pavilion that would make it hard for me to find God and harder for me to listen to and follow His invitations.
My personal ambitions might have clouded my view of reality and made it hard for me to receive revelation.
My desire to know and do His will gave me a soul-stretching opportunity.
That incident illustrates another way we can create a barrier to knowing God’s will or feeling His love for us: we can’t insist on our timetable when the Lord has His own.
Sometimes our insistence on acting according to our own timetable can obscure His will for us.
We remove the pavilion when we feel and pray, “Thy will be done” and “in Thine own time.” His time should be soon enough for us since we know that He wants only what is best.
These are all such clear answers to me today. What do I desire? Is it according to God’s will? Am I being honest in my efforts? Am I doing all I can to seek His will for me and then to have the power to carry that will out? Are my personal ambitions clouding the view of reality and making it hard for me to receive revelation and guidance? Am I creating a barrier to knowing God’s will or feeling His love for me?
One thing that comes to mind is what I can do for the U. I don’t feel like I’m doing enough there. I feel like I can do more. I feel like I can hire a contractor to help more with on-site optimization and other marketing strategies.
I’m grateful for this study today.
I feel like studying the “Beware of Pride” talk by President Benson would be a good follow up to this study. Anger, resentment – these are forms of pride and cause pavilions that don’t allow me to communicate with God effectively.
I also want to study about what the core negative emotions really are.
I’m grateful to feel like my study today was for me and wasn’t an attempt to show anyone that “I have things figured out” – since I don’t. I’m just taking today as it comes.